hevensentgee

im listening to linkin park my december my fav song and i starte to realize that im missing something in my life. im looking at all the things that i have a misfit family my career is coming close to me soon. then it hits me im alone in my love life. i dont hvae my rebel my rockstar that is as crazy and fun and cool as i am. i look back on a few of my relationships like brad brad radke i loved him alot i would have given my heart like really ripped it out to see him smile. then i dated two others to get over the fact of lossing brad and it hurt me alot i felt that i was giving my all. i may seem im pushing myself on a guy but im not. not really i mean when i say i love someone i fuckign mean it man. my heart is always on my fuckign sleeve. ive always gone full out to make sure that they are happy and that they are never hurt that is my illness with anyone.im the nurse in my family. i will be up your ass to make sure your ok and ill be like you ok you wanna talk about it do you want me to get you something? you know on and on. so as i end this journal i want to apologize to people that i have hurt. im not dead im just a phonix ive been reborn over my summer vacation i look different and i feel different.i have gotten skinnyer ive finally have my dream hair its black its fuckgin black lol.i still wear dark make up and cloths but ill dress speacil for the one im with and occassion. plus i got my junior year of homecoming this year at school and then i got prom so alot is coming my way lets hope i can find my rockstar before i go to my dream collage berklee. when i went to the collage for a tour i was talking to one of the students that goes there she was on her fourth year there an i told her what i do i take self pics of me and im very good as a model and i write twenty four seven and i write some good stuff and i play drums guitar both electric and acustic and im learnign to play bass this summer by the end im sure to be a pro i can play two real songs one is rush and the other is iron maiden the trooper. then i can play thriy of my songs on any instrument ive learn to play. anyway even if i was deaad my ashes would be at my fav place in the world salem mass and paris france. but im not im alive and living life to its fullest so anyway gonna go now and sleep. love you all xxxx

the new and improved megan i bet you fucks thought i was dead muhahaha new look new everything hahaha

well welcome back
you've been gone so long
it seems to me you lost your money
for twenty wooden nickles
and for services of the
tasty sweet honey

chorus: have it your way
sorry
that you didnt get laid
i told you
to be true
to me
but you didnt stay the same
you changed your ways
i knew it the other day
so you loser
have your way sorry but you cant get laid.

lets take you back
the other day
wait no last night
you were so
intoxicated
hungar for desire
the naked dance in the fire
you seem to think
that i was
a joke
that why you are screwed
you got screwed

chorus3x
sorry im sorry
that you yea you
im sorry that you couldnt get laid
(laughes)

 

do you
know what it takes
for someone like me
to get out of this place
done with looking at your pretty face
running
im running at my own pace
cause i
i wanna rock


chorus:dont care
what you think of me
i write my name
everywhere in black ink
i wont
listen to your rules
or regulations
cause i wanna be
a rock star
watch me
watch me
ill go far.

you cant
o baby you cant handle me
i cant
o god i cant even handle myself
i
dont like
the way your looking at me
im gonna be.

chorus

i like the way i am
i can stand
for me
i wont stand for you
unless you wonna live an stand with me
cause some of you
have always hated me
i once wanted to date you
i wont pick on you
i,ve
got nothing but love for you
harmoney
my eyes
your eyes
haunt me
devils beneath me

chorus 3x

damn time flys
years past
tears dont last
billards played
bets made
darts thrown
you get into
the singer zone
this is what i say

chorus:its been so long
hay girl you,ve grown tall
you aged as well
every chance we get to see each other
we fell into a story
of who did whats
who got lucky
even though were not blood
dont worry
your part of my flood.


listen to the dj
getting ready to be
playing
party hard
then at eighteen
we go to Canada
pack up lets hit the road
get crunk
and forget
the woes.
chorus

pick pick up im
on the phone
calling to see
whats going on
pay your debt
of my lost drinks
from when we last met
exchange story's
of fears an dreat
an times of fun
damn we,ll never forget

chorus 3x

i see you leaving
crying like ill never see you
again
i know it wont belong
but from back home
you the normal one
so before time ends
thanks for being my friend
thank you thanks you
for being my friend

hay guys i had a talk with my friends an family asking for advice on my relationships cause there the only ones i trust an i finally found the one his name is andrew hes so sweet an amazing he looks at me like im a person not a piece of meat you throw around i look at things on a different perspective now. you know what bro all i got to say is yea i am beautiful an ya i can sing i can do it all. i finally see that caus ei needed alittle more than someone that s my family to see that i know that sounds awful but its true. so thanks. now im growing into someone i wanna be. the rock star that sings to saves lives an is going to save the world. i just need you to not judge immeadiately an too say yea thats my sis an i lvoe her an im proud of her. caus etommy on hard times i need that encouragement ok. i love you all an everyone whos my friend til the end thats online here an most of all i love you andrew your my rockstar love you an i love my family an my family whereever you are ill see you soon
xoxo
to all
all you need is love
spread the peace an harmoney

hi peeps changed alot lost a lot of weight im now 145lbs and i wanna kno wut u think 

the following is a song that i love from the phantom of the opera and i play this song when i find love but i havent found it yet but its still a good song

No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears
I'm here, nothing can harm you
My words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom,
Let daylight dry your tears
I'm here, with you, beside you,
To guard you and to guide you

Say you love me every day and moment,
Turn my head with talk of summertime
Say you need me with you, now and always
Promise me that all you say is true
That's all I ask of you

Let me be your shelter,
Let me be your light
You're safe: no-one will find you
Your fears are far behind you
All I want is freedom,
A world that's with no more night
And you always beside me
To hold me and to hide me
Then say you'll share with me
One love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you
Anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, That's all I ask of you

Say you share with me
One love, one lifetime
Say the words and I will follow you
Share each day with me, each night, each morning
Say you love me
You know I Do
Love me that's all I ask of you

Anywhere you go, let me go too
Love me, that's all I ask of you

what would you do if you talked to someone like you. you went blue and said it can never be then you pop the big Q and say hay i like you. eyes like L's a luagh that makes you live longer. he likes the way you sing. to you , you think its a flirt thing you tell yourself but you  cant lie i do like him i just wish it can be can i ask you a question will you be my gaurdinen angel  use me as you will pull my strings for a thrill i sing i will never let you fall i will stand up for you forever wow honest blog i like him no wait can this be a massacer of romeo and juliet no i do love him i will be there for you through it all
this is a love letter to you
xoxo    

come find me love no one hears come find me lovers with sad tears no one loves me no one cares this valentines day i have something to bear

today i almost got hit by a car but my freind did and i cryed so much i hope he is ok

his smile his eyes light up my face with such beauty and radiance love cant find me love will never find me but when i saw u my heart  began to scream can i love thee let my hear ur name (whispers) blackrain182 can i love thee let me know

i saw u an dit was love at first sight good day

merry x mas xoxo

two days from now will be my ex bfs death he died from smoking and i miss him he dumpped me the day before he died love here in high skool is hard to find witha girl like me and i dont know what to do so ima say this im a 202 lb girl with a heart full pf love and im waiting for some one to swep me of my feet so romeos i can be ur juleit cuz im a passionate lover i love mcr and music and peorty and i want to be a singer so i need a lover who will love me for who i am not what i have and will support me with my dreams